My MBA Journal

After a second can of Red Bull - my daily caffeine dosage has obviously increased from latte and espresso - I feel I should write something about the past crazy one month, to satisfy my readers.

Autumn term started two weeks ago. Gone together with the easy days during September orientation is the London weather.  Now it’s most of the time grey and wet.  This morning I woke up at eight, after the whole week’s serious deprivation of sleep, just to find that the valuation workshop in Citigroup office was starting in half an hour.  The trainer is quite good; however it took me so much pain to understand EMP (equity market premium) and TV (terminal value) that I doubt whether I have any potential in running the valuation model for a living.  Perhaps it’s a smart investment if I can pay 50 quid to find out M&A is not for me.

Yesterday, four alumni now working at a bulge bracket investment bank came to school to give a presentation on “Preparing for Investment Banking”.  The guy who is now a Director in IBD (M&A) was very negative.  He reminded me of some partners I came across before, stressing over and over again that you can’t go into IB thinking about money.  I came to LBS convinced that I would join investment banks, and work in London after graduating.  It’s actually the easiest and laziest thing to do because I don’t have to think hard about what I really want to do or what really suits me.  Milk round (the British equivalent for “campus recruiting”) starts next January.  There will be introduction of various associate programs, deadlines for application, and abundant precedent examples.  I admire those people who have a clear idea of their future plans without being carried away by all the hypes.  Unfortunately I couldn’t.  It’s like you see an express training pulling into station- everybody seems to have a reserved seat except you.

On the other hand, going back to Asia seems so tempting.  That’s my home court.  I know people. And I am home.  I feel like losing foothold in the rock climbing again.  Can I hold onto my original plan? 

Twelve minutes to midnight, I'm still working on the assignment by the professor of Understanding General Management. The assignment is: "The year is 2055, the occasion of your funeral. Imagine your best friend gives your eulogy. Write down what that person would say."

Ramming my brain to search for English words given an average of 5 hours sleep for the past two weeks is quite tough. Even putting aside the question of how my eulogy is relevant to general management, I was seriously troubled by the fact that I don't have a clue about how I want to be talked about after my death. Trying not to panic, I googled “eulogy tips”. The search returned 3,680,000 results- obviously it’s not only me that has eulogy phobia. But reading all those tips just made me even more confused. “Step 1: list down the person’s life stories, his/her marriage, jobs…Step 2: develop a theme…Step 3: gather more materials, legacy, jokes, and characteristic details…” Legacy? I can’t see myself having any child, or any running company, so what else I will leave behind in this world?

But I finally did it. Yeah- smart me. At least ETS shouldn’t complain about the full mark it gave to my GMAT writing test. Below is the best I can come up with. Enjoy reading, and welcome to my funeral in 50 yearsJ

 Subject: Eulogy on Linda’s funeral in Shanghai prepared by Kevin, Linda’s best friend from university and first ex-boyfriend.

Coming back from the last session at the end of 3 days intensive orientation, which was drinking and networking with LBS alumni, I started to think about what I really took away with me. It is indeed a good measurement to tell what really strikes you if you can still recall that even in a sober state of mind.

Firstly, alumni- LBS places an awful lot of emphasis on alumni. The culture as well as mechanism put in place that allows current students to reach out for alumni’s advice and resources is incredible. Not only during the orientation were invited alumni who graduated 30 years ago, 10 years ago and last year as guest speakers, but also the entire alumni directory including their current contact details and career histories is available to all students on campus. Not any other top B-school including Harvard or Wharton does anything even close to that. On our first day, speech was delivered on “Becoming an Alum”. They really tried very hard to build a strong sense of close community, and it seemed working.

Secondly, exit strategy- this comprises career planning, job market overview and soul searching advice. Personally I like this way of approaching a problem a lot, mainly because of my years of professional training: always begin things with an ending mind, and ALWAYS have a plan. Doing MBA, for me, is like another critical project in my life. Listening to professionals laying out milestones, tasks and outcomes throughout different phases is like confirming my own project plan, so I feel a lot more secure. One example how important LBS deems instilling the necessary skills to land a job into their new products, which, in this case, are us 312 MBA2008s: if anyone fails to attend two career services workshops without any sound reason, be it “How to write CV” or “How to do case interview”, he doesn’t get the degree.

Lastly, passion- for the last lecture we had, we watched 7 TV commercials and 2 movie clips. How much inspired you are really depends on the individual; at least they evoked deep thoughts in me. Simple theories as “Love what you’re doing and it shows”, “Make their day”, “Be there” and “Choose your attitude” might sound common sense to some people. However, it’s more about practicing those common sense rather than just knowing.

I hope all above mentioned doesn’t seem too sales-y to you; and hopefully no potential admit reads this and then makes his decision to come to LBS based on what I say. But Hi- I am starting to really appreciate that I am here, to take responsibility of my career and what I want to do with it during the rest of my life.

One might guess some relations between a Chinese stomach and (the importance of having) a kitchen; but what this has anything to do with boyfriend? Ha, the master that managed to link these together is my ex-boss at the notoriously well-know Firm. 

As we were having lunch at a seafood restaurant near Piccadilly Circus, the most expensive restaurant I have been to since in London, he listened to my career aspirations in investment banks with a knowing face, but obviously not too enthusiastic about it. Suddenly he asked, “What do you normally have for dinner?” I was caught off guard, “What? Err… Subway sandwich or Tesco.” “Why don’t you cook yourself?” He was now more interested. I explained patiently that the student residence hall I’m staying is catered, meaning I don’t have a kitchen, hence I can’t cook. Honestly I can’t care less about whether there is a kitchen. During the three years in Singapore and KL where I did have spacious and fully equipped kitchen, the total number that I used it to cook other than making toast or cutting fruits was most likely less than five.  

“Oh…that’s bad, you can’t live on sandwiches…I got sick with sandwiches when doing my Ph.D.” He continued, genuinely concerned. I was a bit confused, looking at him with absolutely nothing to say- at the end of the day, why this is more important than acing out tough interview questions with investment banks and getting an internship?

“Linda, you have to understand that in Europe, it’s very common for people to cook themselves. You can’t eat out all the time, as in Shanghai.” He said solemnly. I nodded, for God’s sake, even a Tesco sandwich costs me 1.80 pounds, which is almost 3.60 US dollars, or 27 RMB; a decent meal at a normal restaurant is at least 20 pounds per person. “But I don’t have a kitchen.” I said weakly, the first time regarding this as a serious misery in my future life in London. “Find one, “he’s getting a bit impatient, as before when he gave orders to associates but they couldn’t find any solutions, “find a boyfriend with a kitchen.” !!

“Your criteria should be simple: smart, introvert, with a kitchen, period.” He tossed the last forkful of fish pie into his mouth, his thick eyebrow frowning with subtle dissatisfaction. Obviously it’s the end of this topic of conversation.

We departed on different ways after the meal. I was still quite in disbelief to be advised that a kitchen have any place in my future boyfriend checklist. Then I was passing by China Town. I turned my way, went into a Cantonese-run Chinese grocery shop and got 20 packets of Chinese instant noodles. At least, I don’t need a kitchen to cook them.

The fifth day in London, my new home, I became officially 29. Honestly I do like this age, which still keeps the youth, energy and beauty of 20’s, and begins to hint the maturity of 30’s. It’s golden for a woman.

However, spending the commencing date of my golden year in a strange country is quite a challenge. I woke up in the morning with absolutely no idea what to do. After chatting to a friend, who was not aware it was my birthday, for an hour on Skype, she finally hit the ball, “Are you very bored?” “No, of course not… you know what, I actually have to run now.” I quickly got offline, and thought, gee—how could I be bored in London? People say, if you’re bored with London, you’re bored with life.

Covent Garden is just two metro stops away, so I went there. The Apple market and Jubilee markets are just next to each other, selling all sorts of artistic things from home design jewelries to porcelain Chinaware. I more enjoyed the street performers; professional, skillful and genuinely funny (see the photos.)  It’s nice to be immersed in the happy weekend shopping and entertaining crowd; somehow the laughter and joy was contagious. My mood was quite uplifted so I called an ex-colleague who is now working and living in London, and went to visit her new home in Canary Wharf. I brought a wine with me for her, thinking it a great beginning for me to give rather than take on my birthday.

 I did have a celebration dinner with five other classmates in the evening. Even small, the group comprised people from US, Europe and Asia. We went to an Indian restaurant near Leicester Square. Two of them from Taipei surprised me with a “London” T-shirt and a “Happy Birthday” pin. Very enjoyable conversation; lots of jokes; I even had the Indian-style carrot cake as my birthday cake.

I woke up at 4:50am in a fully lightened room. For a second, I was at loss: where am I? When is it? I turned in bed- it immediately made some creaky sounds; the pillow is so hollow that it couldn’t even support my head. I sulked to myself, and then it came back to me: this is my new home for the next one year in London. I passed out the moment I hit bed last night because I was so racked from walking for 7 hours every day.

Welcome to London, Ciudad Del Caos ( The City of Chaos.) Westerns might be inclined to think that Asian cities are more chaotic, but to understand the map of London is mission impossible. I get constantly confused by “place”, “street”, “road” all bearing the same name. There’s hardly any road that is straight, and it normally changes its name several times along the way. The design of tube interchange station is meant to decrease efficiency and increase traffic from all directions. Bus drivers didn’t know the roads they dropped me at. The day before yesterday, Metropolitan line underwent a major delay because a man lied in between the rails!

But I survive, although it means getting up at 6 o’clock every morning, researching on journeyplanner.co.uk, and marking horrendously complicated dots and lines in my pocket map, before I can confidently step out of my room and begin another day of adventure. Well, sometimes unexpected things do happen. Yesterday, I changed my plan on the road, and had to call a friend to redo the journey planning search. But hey, that’s minor interruption yeah?

Generally speaking, my first three days have been very fruitful. I went to the school, was more impressed by Regent’s Park than the school building itself. Registered with a general practitioner; although quite sick (have been sick from day one, thanks to London’s infamous weather,) I couldn’t see the doctor because I didn’t call and make appointment, but one can just walk in to get condoms or contraceptive pills. Paid 133 pounds to insure my laptop, iPod and digital camera “at all risks” and other possessions inside my room, just to know the insurance company charges the highest rate for the area I’m residing in. Next Monday, I will have my appointment with HSBC and sort out the money stuff, so my new life is gradually coming together.

As I’m writing this entry, the noise out of my window is picking up; reminding me it’s the beginning of a new day. I’m planning to do some serious sight-seeing and shopping over the weekend, so keep in tune. Will be back in a short whileJ

Yesterday, I was in MRT and got a call from a friend, “there was a bomb on a plane in London!” All I caught in the noisy underground were “BOMB” and “London”. My heart sank. Strangely, the first thought that hit me was not “it’s unsafe”; but rather “hope it won’t hurt the economy.” Maybe it’s not strange if you were me, who am going to make a US$100,000 investment in an MBA degree, and the job prospect largely depends on macro economy.

When back home, I checked the news. The plot of blowing an aircraft departing from Heathrow Airport to US by liquid explosives was thwarted. No person was harmed, but the consequence is tightened security in UK and US airports, which means longer check-in process and more strict rules on luggage control. For example, Singapore Airline specifically asks passengers to take onboard in a single (ideally transparent) plastic carrier bag, only the following items:

l         Pocket-size wallets and contents (money, credit cards, identity cards etc. no handbags)

l         Passports and travel tickets

l         Prescription medicines and medical items sufficient and essential for the flight (eg, diabetic kit), except in liquid form unless verified as authentic

l         Spectacles and sunglasses, without cases

l         Contact lens holders, without bottles of solution

l         Female sanitary items sufficient and essential for the flight, if unboxed (eg tampons, pads, towels and wipes)

l         Tissues (unboxed) and/or handkerchiefs

l         Keys (but no electrical key fobs). All passengers must be hand searched, and their footwear and all the items they are carrying must be X-ray screened.

l         Nothing may be carried in pockets.  No liquids of any sort will be permitted.

As a matter of fact, I had to repack, putting all suspicious items to my check-in baggage, including hair gel, lotion water, contact lens solutions, and so on; hating it at the same time, because now it’s definitely overweighed, and it’s going to cost me money as excess luggage fee.

Later the school community responded as well. Someone posted the note that Britain's security services raised the threat level to the country to "critical" from "severe," the highest of its five ratings which means "an attack is expected imminently”. That’s all. Nobody seems making a fuss about the incident. I then recalled 13 months ago when the bomb took away 70 lives and hurt another 500 in King’s Cross underground and a bus – the area that my university residence hall is located- people lamented for the loss but then carried on with their lives quickly. This is amazing. Sometimes I feel although I’m going to live in that country for the next two years, I’m yet to understand the people. Not long ago had I a discussion with an English friend of mine on British mindset and attitude. “The core of Brits’ mindset is that things can’t be changed,” he said, “You have to understand that life is miserable in nature.”

Funnily it sounds so similar to the Confucius concept in ancient China. I can think of quite a couple of sayings that are based on this concept, for example, “one plans it; fate makes it.” (谋事在人，成事在天);  “Destiny has one’s life and death.” (生死有命). And there are a lot more.

In the end, is it true that everybody is doing what he is doing now to answer his future callings? I believe I am. It’s an entirely new and extremely exciting journey lying ahead of me. "Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him," Aldous Huxley once said. I own the experience of the next two years, and I am determined to make the most out of every minute of it.

Wish me good luck! J

Another psycological process I'm undergoing is called time compression, thanks to a friend with whom I had an interesting discussion. He claimed that people going to a new environment would tend to put away all previous memories in a subconscious fashion, as if in a drawer at the back of your brain, to focus on more demanding things at present.

I then realized that I have compressed my time several times, and the next compression is due soon. So does that mean those who I now feel attached to will become less heavily weighted in my life in London? Will there actually be a vacuum period when I don't have anybody or anything meaningful in my life? 

I look at the canlendar - three months before the school starts. After getting my visa, I’m constantly struggling between the ideas of stopping work to travel and keeping on working to earn the much needed cash.

My bosses, Wayne and George, are both aware of my leaving. Wayne has obviously bought me too much coffee in those coaching sessions, trying to persuade me not to go. He thinks this is entirely an unwise decision. In fact, any young, ambitious and sane person would be stoned to think of leaving China market at this time. George is less convinced that my future lies here. He said in his usual cunning and indifferent way, "Oh, you're 'abandoning' us." However there is one thing in common: neither of them believes that I am still committed to my current job.

I have learnt since long that whenever people have developed their perceptions, it's very hard to change. Although I have been working hard on preparing technical pitches, traveling to a coal mine in the middle of nowhere after 2 hours' flight and 4 hours' drive, and closing the on-going project, they still choose to believe what they want to believe.

Again, it is the perpetual question about how much you should be open with your boss. Most of my friends would say never; a minor portion of people like me who don't want to burn the bridge and who care about professional reputation end up in this lost battle. A metaphor I can think of now is when you suggest divorcing your spouse, no matter how hard you try to prove you don't have any affaire, he or she just can't believe you.